Are You Sure Your TikTok or Instagram Comments Are Actually Hateful?
Going viral on social media comes with an influx of comments—some positive, some negative, and some that might feel like personal attacks. Every creator with a large following has surely experienced the hurt of receiving negative comments, but not all negativity is actually hate, even though it might feel like it sometimes.
There are of course genuinely hateful comments—aggressive language, personal attacks, and outright disrespect. However, as a creator, it’s easy to misinterpret any disagreement as hate. This article isn’t about dismissing real hate, but rather about recognizing the difference between criticism, disagreement, and toxicity so you can better manage your mindset.
The Reality of Social Media Comments
Imagine this:
You’ve spent days perfecting a video, excited to share your work with the world. You expect praise and recognition, but instead, you’re met with critical or even dismissive comments. Many creators have been in this situation. But before taking it personally, consider:
- Are they actually attacking you?
- Could they simply be trying to join the discussion?
- Are they seeking engagement for themselves?
One realization I had (after far too long) is that when I thought people were arguing with me, they were often just looking to be part of the conversation. Today many people lack a real sense of community, so when they see a viral post on a topic they relate to, they jump into the comment section and post comments that are just a way for them to be heard and feel important as well. Sometimes in a clumsy manner.
When a creator sees a comment that seems critical, they often interpret it as "I disagree with you!" when in reality, the commenter may be saying:
"I think this is interesting! Have you also considered this perspective?"
Some commenters are just trying to be the top comment, appear knowledgeable, or make a joke. Their motivation is often self-interest rather than genuine disagreement. If you take these remarks too personally, you might be misinterpreting their intent.
Categories of Negative Comments
We can divide negative comments into three groups:
- Constructive criticism – Valuable feedback, even if it challenges your point.
- Non-constructive criticism – Negative, but not hateful, often lacking real discussion value.
- Hateful comments – Direct attacks on individuals or groups.
The first two categories can actually help your engagement. The last one? Delete and block as needed.
8 examples
Let’s look at some examples of internet communication where the interpretation might be different from what the commenter really means. Let’s for the sake of this example say you made a video about a new way of painting your walls that you discovered.
Example
- Type of comment: Constructive comment where they want a real discussion
- What you feel: They are against you and your proposal
- What they could really mean: Genuinely want to discuss the pros and cons of the two alternatives
Example
- Type of comment: Seemingly negative comment, but they are actually agreeing with you
- What you feel: They are annoyed with you and that they feel you criticise them
- What they could really mean: A funny remark like “I’m always doing it the slowest way… Sigh…”
Example
- Type of comment: Comment where the commentator simply wants to feel included and feel knowledgeable themselves
- What you feel: They are dismissing your entire proposal
- What they could really mean: Hey! Look at me! I also paint a lot. And I also really want to be included and be seen here! My opinion matters! I want in on this momentum
Example
- Type of comment: Comment where the commentator isn’t telling the full story
- What you feel: That they are dismissing your proposal
- What they could really mean: I really don’t know which is best, I might have to try both and compare!
Example
- Type of comment: Valuable feedback with poor execution
- What you feel: That they are critical of your execution
- What they could really mean: They provide valuable feedback, but they are clumsy in execution so it looks a bit rude
Example
- Type of comment: Ambiguity that you misinterpret to be negative
- What you feel: They don’t want you to keep posting or see any of your content
- What they could really mean: I get so excited about painting when I see this, stop before I repaint my whole home lol
Example
- Type of comment: Some sort of pop culture or other reference you don’t get
- What you feel: They are being sarcastic at your expense
- What they could really mean: This is a common pop culture reference, and they could mean it with tongue-in-cheek humor and are actually supporting you
Example
- Type of comment: You don’t hear the tonality
- What you feel: You did something wrong
- What they could really mean: If you read it in a different tonality, they might mean it in a sarcastic way and could really mean it supportively
Final Thoughts
Try to step outside of your personal attachment to your content and view negative comments objectively. What you read as an attack might simply be a casual remark, a joke, or a person’s attempt to be part of something bigger.
Learning to differentiate between genuine hate and general criticism will make your experience on social media much easier. Plus, engagement—even in the form of disagreement—helps boost your content.
If negativity overwhelms you, remember: You control your space. You’re free to delete comments that don’t align with your energy, as long as you maintain a mindset that keeps you motivated and focused on your goals.